Saturday, March 12, 2011

Joining the Argus Cycle Tour? .. Here is a few Do's and Dont's

Welcome to the greatest cycle tour. Since 1981, this writer has done the tour about 14 times and humbly advises the following dos and don’ts for Sunday’s Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour.

Don’t

l Don’t arrive late. Nothing beats being there with enough time to greet old mates; hoot at how fat or bald they’ve all got; hug with surprise compadres you last saw as a child; or settle your little sister’s nerves – this Cycle Tour’s only her first. Just savour the spirit. Ready, steady, go. Hoopla.

l Don’t be disheartened if, before you cross the start line at 9am, the winners are announced. If you put your back into it and crack about 2h28min yourself, you’ll still be declared winner.

l Don’t stress if, heading up Eastern Boulevard, you feel weak and pathetic after just a few hundred metres. You’ve probably been standing for the past hour. Your bony twigs will warm up soon. And you’ll soon be roaring down Hospital Bend at 60km/h.

l Don’t expect to see your bosom buddy and training partner for the rest of the race. Your most trusted companion will often turn into “Gus the Gasman” with a bit between his teeth, and you’ll only see him at the finish.

l Don’t forget to pay your respects to Capetonian statesmen like Just Nuisance as you pour a litre of liquid relief down your gullet at Simon’s Town’s water break. The Great Dane is just one of many esteemed citizens who deserve a doff of the cycling helmet as you pass through their home territories.

l Don’t eat too many raisins. The world will fall out of your bottom sooner or later.

l Don’t bodysurf at Fish Hoek – the dried salt in your shorts will leave you with a burning ring of fire for the next 70km.

Do

l Do savour the company of the girl or guy on the road next to you. Camaraderie’s far more valuable than all those hours on the road.

l Do ride like the wind if you’re feeling like a million bucks. Or if your body’s telling you to cool it, you don’t need a heart-rate monitor to start reading you the riot act. There’s only one perfect pace: the one that feels right.

l Do “eat, drink and be merry” at every stop. It’s going to be hot, it’s going to be draining, so fuel up.

l Do imagine seeing a collection of delights that the average tourist to Cape Town has flown around the world to see – the old historic mill before UCT, Constantia’s gracious vineyards, the first hint of salt air, the first glimpse of the sea, Surfer’s Corner pealing, kids at St James leaping into the tidal pools, the Greek Island vistas above Smitswinkel Bay, cresting the climb up to the Cape Point gate, the freewheel into Scarborough, songs out of Masiphumelele, the climb into heaven atop Chapman’s Peak.

l Do say a prayer of thanks at the top of Suikerbossie. It’s a metaphor, you see… you’ve climbed every mountain.

The Cycle Tour is one grand adventure – Cape Town’s finest experiences distilled into a few hours of perfect celebration.

In the words of the South African rock band Prime Circle: “And we say, live for today and not next week.”

Or, in the words of Dr Seuss: “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”

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